Chapter 5: You have the power to choose

When we shift our perspective on failure as a means for learning, growth, and innovation, it contains the seeds of future success. Do you have the right tools and support to manage this shift? How do you respond to any situation, stressful event, or failure?

[Lorenzo Conti] Β· 672 words Β· 4 min read Β· Nov 8, 2023
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When we shift our perspective on failure as a means for learning, growth, and innovation, it contains the seeds of future success.

Looking back at moments that might have felt like setbacks for me, I admit I didn’t always handle these situations well and found the failures frustrating, not immediately understanding their lessons.

One thing became clear: I often lacked the right tools and support to manage those challenging times.

So, I have consistently searched for different ways to manage stress and address issues. Over time, I’ve had the opportunity to make progress and have discovered coaching as a practical and effective solution to get the help I needed.

As expected, I learned that there’s no one-size-fits-all formula for success.

Instead of answers, I found questions!

  • πŸ’­ What are your thoughts?
  • πŸ˜” How do you feel?
  • πŸšΆβ€β™‚οΈ What actions do you take?
  • πŸ’¬ What are your responses?
  • 🧠 How can you reshape your perception of that episode?

But the simplest and most powerful revelation was this:

You possess the ability to determine how you respond to any situation, stressful event, or failure. You always have a choice.

When the unexpected occurs, or your expectations remain unmet, and you find yourself dissatisfied with the outcome, you have various ways to react:

  • Suffer and become a victim.
  • Get mad and avoid the situation, remembering that you don’t have to engage in every argument.
  • Change the situation, doing what you can to move closer to a resolution.
  • Alter your experience, recognizing that changing your perceptions can transform the entire experience.
  • Accept it and ask yourself, “Will it matter in a year or a week?”. This can provide valuable perspective.

Let’s illustrate this with a specific example.

Imagine your manager calls you in on a Friday evening because there is a customer escalation due to a failure in the software that was released this week.

These could be some reactions:

  1. Victim πŸ˜”πŸ™
    “I can’t believe this is happening on a Friday evening! It’s always me who has to deal with these issues. I guess I’m just a victim of bad timing.”

  2. Anger πŸš«πŸ’Ό
    “This is unacceptable! I can’t believe they’re calling me in on a Friday evening for something that went wrong with the software. I need to have a serious talk with my team about accountability.”

  3. Responsibility πŸ“ŠπŸ“†
    “I’ll take charge of the situation. Let’s gather the team together and work on a plan to resolve this customer escalation. We’ll also set up a post-incident review to learn from this and prevent it from happening again.”

  4. Concern πŸ€”πŸ§
    “I wonder what went wrong with the software release. I’ll need to investigate the root cause and ensure that we take steps to improve our processes to avoid such escalations in the future.”

  5. Reconciliation πŸŒŸπŸ”
    “It’s a tough situation, but I’ll keep in mind that resolving this issue is an opportunity to strengthen our relationship with the customer. It might be a long night, but in the end, it’s a chance to demonstrate our commitment to their satisfaction.”

The power to control your response is entirely in your hands. πŸ’ͺ🀲

How would you respond to that situation?

How about if there is a tool that takes something abstract - the way you experience the world - and turns it into a tangible metric you can use to reshape your worldview? πŸ€”πŸ› οΈπŸ”πŸ”„πŸŒ

The Energy Leadershipβ„’ Index (ELI) is your new favorite assessment to understand why you are the way you are.

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Concepts based on the coach training program with the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC).

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